“If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only.”

I believe I was in class ten when I first realised my penchant towards Literature. It was during one of my English classes, when I was captivated by the make-believe world of Nancy Drew, busy reading and fantasizing myself in her adventurous shoes, at the very back of my class when my English teacher, Miss Z, started to talk about a female writer from Victorian Era and subsequently went on to read this beautiful sonnet, ‘If Thou Must Love Me,’ and thus began the journey of my love for Literature.

One the reasons that the sonnet tweaked my interest was due to the fact that the sonnet talks about how a woman gallantly declares how she desires to be loved, that too during times when women demanding anything was totally unacceptable and unheard of! This got me looking into the writer of the Sonnet, Elizabeth Barett Browning whose own love life was in the whirlwind in those times.

The sonnet is a part of the collection called ‘Sonnets from the Portuguese,’ which consists of 44 sonnets published together in 1850. It was written by Elizabeth for her future spouse, Robert Browning, Victorian poet himself, with whom she eloped to conquer her love beyond the restrictions of the patriarchal society.

The sonnet declares the intentions of how the speaker wants to be loved. The first part of the poem talks about how the speaker doesn’t wish to be loved for any other reason than for love’s sake.

Now hold onto your horses and bear in mind this is Victorian Era, which means women don’t particularly have any rights, they are required to marry early on since that portrayed the status of the family, they aren’t allowed to own or possess any property. Even their very own children were the property of their spouses!

Once the women were married, they practically ceased to exist! It was believed that she ‘became one’ with her husband and thereafter everything she did was under his direction. Bearing children and taking care of them along with household chores remained to be their only task.

I only mention this because the sonnet challenges this very notion of the society and its ways of thinking when the speaker goes on to boldly list the ways she doesn’t wished to be loved without caring for the traditional manner of thought of her society.

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love’s sake only. Do not say,
“I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought

She states, if you must love me then let it be not for my physical appearance and mannerisms. Let it not be for our similarity of thoughts even though they bring a sense of ease as they may change with time along with her physical appearance and if so, their love shall not remain which the speaker doesn’t want to risk.

Amidst her demands throughout the sonnet, it also indicates to the theme of gender equality where a woman is demanding unconditional love from her lover in a patriarchal society.

But love me for love’s sake, that evermore
Thou may’st love on, through love’s eternity.

Towards the end of the sonnet, the speaker reinstates her initial request for unconditional love-love for love’s sake only. Only then, the lover may be able to love her forever, denying the grasp of time, through love’s eternity.

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say,
"I love her for her smile—her look—her way
Of speaking gently,—for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day"—
For these things in themselves, Belovèd, may
Be changed, or change for thee—and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry:
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou mayst love on, through love's eternity.

I believe the motive behind the sonnet still resonates in modern world where lot many Elizabeth’s are ardently challenging the patriarchal mindset even 100 years later.